Long time, no post.
The reason is because I either post when I am too relaxed or when I am too disturbed about something.
This time it is a smooth mixture of both.
On an ordinary Sunday, I found myself standing at the fee counter of Middlesex University paying my first installment fee to enroll myself in this university. I had returned from an exam from Manipal University. (Not so ordinary any more)
Does that sound complicated?
It sure does. Not as complicated as what I am when it comes to making a career choice.
So I am a student of B.A Media and Communication. Well, I was.
I am done with 1 year. A hectic one year. A year that taught me so much as a student and a person. Personally, I think Manipal University equips you with all the skills that you would need to be in Media. An excellent infrastructure and numerous opportunities if you’re ready to take in effort. But if I didn’t seem to enjoy a Media course there, it meant that I wouldn’t in any other place.
Here comes the story:
Caught up in the web of hectic life to achieve ends in university, I was doing what it takes to get decent grades. I think I did pretty decent too.But just when I decided that this could be the right career for me, life decided to throw back some past memories.
Middlesex University in Dubai planned to launch LLB Honors this year. It was almost like someone reminding me about my ex-boyfriend( Hey, I don’t have an ex but I am guessing that is how it must feel like). I recalled, I wanted to do Law. I don’t think recall would be the right word since that thought never really left my mind.The reason I couldn’t do it last year was the non-availability of this course in English in Dubai. I wouldn’t want to leave Dubai as I am a home sick puppy who can’t do without family.
I thought to myself is it too late to think of doing this? What about the year in which I slogged so much?What will people think? What will my parents think?
Among all these questions, the easiest one to answer was the last one. My parents and sisters backed me up at this time inspite of knowing how indecisive I am when it comes to career.
Am I ready to leave one year and not regret it?
Surprisingly, I never even thought about the year that I am losing. I don’t think I have lost a year in fact I’ve gained so much in this year. Learnt skills which I don’t think I would have otherwise. Knowing a little more has never done harm to people, has it?
I stood on a crossroad now: If I stuck along with Media, I would regret that I didn’t grab the opportunity to do Law when I had it. If I left Media and by chance didn’t happen to be satisfied with LLB ,I would regret having left it.
I think my blog post LESSONS I LEARNT FROM CONVOCATION assisted quite a bit while making this decision .I would like to insert few lines from that post here:
“From this part of the speech, I took a lesson that it’s okay to choose a path and realize half way through that it’s not right for you and step back. It’s not important to hold on all the time. It is really not. I think we all should start doing things in present which our future will be grateful to us for(I read this line somewhere and seemed apt) rather than being filled with guilt about how we could have chosen to drop out back then. I do understand that dropping out is not a feasible option in all cases and everyone is not fortunate enough to have this chance but if situation permits it is a decision which we shouldn’t call of. Having a rough idea of what exactly we wish to do after we change our path would be wise.
If we choose to continue in the not-so-favourable path ,what is most likely to happen in future is that we will realize we have spent 30 years of our life doing something which we don’t enjoy just because we were afraid to give up the 2 years of our life which we spent in starting the same. I won’t resist the urge to quote words from Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Road not taken” which fits this situation perfectly:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
I think this pretty much justifies my choice of “dropping out”. It was a hard hitting realization that I was studying Media just to get good grades and not because I was enthusiastic about it. My conscience wasn’t at peace. I knew in the long run this was going to suck the happiness out of me. If I wouldn’t be happy, I wouldn’t be able to do well in life.
Read these lines on pinterest and they seem to fit here: ” you get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but also miss the person you are now at this time and place because you’ll never be this way again.” This is especially for my folks back in Manipal.
Anyway, I am glad that I inaugurated my ‘wishtitude’ jar with a wish regarding this choice. The ‘wishtitude’ jar is yet another attempt of mine to battle with my pessimist self. It consists of wishes as well as messages about what I am thankful about. The purpose of the jar will be fulfilled when the gratitude messages outnumber the wishes.
The first wish was as follows:
#1: I have decided to drop out of Media and pursue LLB. This could be the bravest or the most absurd of decisions I’ve made till now. Only time will tell if it’s the former or the latter. For now I am hoping for the best and expecting the worst. I WISH I write again someday stating how happy I am about my decision.
Miles to go before I sleep... 
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