Deepika Padokune has crashed the internet lately. Her confession about depression and how she overcame it won her lot of appreciation one day but so did the My choice video the next day but of course the latter has also attracted lot of controversy. As Indians, we love and hate too quick, right?
All though I wouldn’t say I agree to everything she says in the video, I do think some of the points she raises are valid and maybe many of us need to practice an omission exercise when we view things. Take what you wish and leave what you don’t like. Well, easier said than done, maybe?
Well, here is an insignificant soul’s account of my Choice which focuses on common prejudices people hold against others. Not all of them are from my personal experience, trust me. Haha.
To take up Humanities stream?
My choice. No, I wasn’t pushed into it because I got low grades. No, I didn’t take it up because I was not clear about my career choice.
To be on a heavier side of the scale?
My choice. I assure you that my weight in no way links to your health or appearance.
To be a Hijabi?
My choice. No, I am not oppressed. No, I am not forced. In a religion which does not ask the woman to change her second name to her husband’s after marriage. In a religion which has placed mothers before fathers. In a religion which commands the man to give a gift to his wife in the form of Mehr as an obligation. I think women have more rights than the man so the least I can do is wear a Hijab to cover myself.
To not be a Hijabi?
My choice. Yes, I am a Muslim. Yes, I believe in Allah. Yes, I may be more timely with my prayers than someone who does wear a Hijab.
To have an arranged marriage?
My choice. No, I am not doing it half-heartedly. Yes, I am absolutely in love with him. Yes, I trust a person who I met a month back. My parents are a living testimony of the fact that time spent together before marriage does not itself determine the person’s character.
To have a love marriage?
“What a disgrace to the family. She is getting married to a guy she loved.”
Yes, I am getting married to the boy I have loved. The only boy I have ever loved. But when you say my love is less sincere or doubt my character in comparison to a girl who loved a couple of guys(for the love of god, I hope at different stages of life) before she ultimately got married to a guy her parents liked, it amuses me.
To date a guy who is fair when I am dark?
My choice. No, he is not blind. Our minds were compatible which for us was important than matching our skin colour for your aesthetic pleasure. Fairness does not determine beauty and I am only glad that the man I love is not as shallow as you.
To be a home-maker?
My choice. Yes, I did complete my graduation. Yes, I still prefer to spend time at home taking care of my family. While I know some others can manage both worlds: home and work perfectly. I don’t think I can. That does not mean my husband forced me to stay at home or that my dreams are dying a slow death in the name of marriage. I will take up work once I learn to multi-task.
To not get married or not have kids?
My choice. Unless you are my parent, I don’t see how this concerns you in anyway.
To have a kid in my early 20s?
My choice. No, I don’t worry about my figure. When the rest of my friends are pre-occupied with how they look, I am happy about bringing a new person to life.
To adopt a kid when I can have a kid of my own?
My choice. No, its not because I worry about my figure. It’s because I want to make a difference in this world by taking care of one of the many kids left abandoned.
To be a girl and love football or to be a boy who hates cricket?
My choice. The last time I checked gender and sports did not have a link with each other whatsoever.
To use make-up?
My choice. No, it does not make me fake. I use it to enhance my features. If you don’t like make-up, I don’t have a problem with it. You choose what you want to do with your face.
So to sum it up, anything which someone else does which does not make a difference in your life is their choice. So, why worry yourself for no joy? Live your life and make your choices in a way that they don’t interfere with someone else’s choice( especially your close ones) or the concept of rightness in general.
I will not resist my urge to quote a dialogue from Munnabhai MBBS which is not totally relevant but well it is my habit to ramble so yeah.. “Carrom ramwanu, juice pivanu … mazza ni life” 😀